Only Him to Lean On

I was feeling sorry for myself because I realized as always it seems, I am alone. Who stands with me? Who understand? Who believes in me? Yes, true pity, potty, party. Ever been there? :)

Then I think about Jesus; in times past, I have told myself that He at least had a good foundation. His parents loved Him. They took care of Him. Anyway, I would tell myself that with a good foundation I think one can do most anything in life. Later he had His disciples. True one was bad, but the others loved Him and were faithful. What have I? Sure most of what I don't have is my fault, but not all. Some things I think God Himself has deprived me from for the purpose of teaching me to lean on Him. My lack is actually an answer to prayer. I do want to know Him and walk with Him. He helps me in my endeavor by eliminating my people idol and crutches. When I look around and see only Him walking beside me how can I get lost?

But today I had an interesting thought. Did Jesus ever really have anyone He could share His heart with? Was there ever anyone who understood Him? Could it be that His only true communication was with His Heavenly Father? Did He perhaps recognize His need to walk in the spirit rather than the flesh to get His needs met? Is that not what we are all called to do once we have been born again? We are now made anew in Christ. It is nice when we can share are hearts and dreams with others. But many times that cannot be.  

I say I want to walk with God. That I want true fellowship with Him, yet I continually seek to be understood by man. Is my purpose to be understood or to understand? Perhaps God has called me to listen and hear His people and not seek to speak and be heard.